The Best Questions to Ask When You Interview a Doula
So you've decided you want to hire a doula to support you during your birth. (We might be biased, but... great decision!)
You've started checking out some local doulas online. You find that most doulas offer a free consultation/meeting/interview, so you contact some doulas you're interested in and set up a time to get together.
If it's your first time working with a doula, you'll probably find yourself in one of two camps:
You have lots of questions and are excited for a chance to finally talk to doulas in person
You aren't really sure where to start, you might feel a little lost, and you're not really sure what this interview is all about
Whichever group you fall into, this post can help!
It's important to make the most of your free meeting time with doulas you're considering. This meeting is really the only chance you have to get to know this person before signing a contract and actually putting money down to hire them.
There are lots of checklists online to help you prepare for a doula interview. But as doulas who consult with prospective clients often, we have to tell you that most of those checklists miss the mark.
The best doula interviews we've had look much more like a conversation than a Q&A session (or worse, an interrogation). Consultations are your chance to emotionally connect with someone, rather than focusing on details of what year they certified or how much their services cost. (Hopefully you can find all of that information out ahead of time on their website anyway!) Even though hiring a doula is a business transaction on one level, there is so much more to this relationship.
In order to help more parents prepare for doula interviews that are juicy and personal and actually HELPFUL in choosing the right doula, we've put together a list of prompts (and some words of caution). We hope this helps you feel a bit more equipped for sitting down to chat with a someone who might be with you at one of the most vulnerable, intimate, and intense times in your life.
In our book, doula interviews should feel less like interviewing a new employee and more like having coffee with a friend. Read on to learn ways to make sure your interactions in a doula interview jump off the notebook pages and wind up deep in conversation!
First and foremost... be willing to share about yourself!
While you're interviewing a doula, they're also interviewing you!
It's important for a doula to understand your ideas around labor and birth, and how you envision a doula helping you throughout those experiences. A prospective doula might ask you questions about these things because it helps understand where you’re coming from and what you’re looking for.
If you don’t feel comfortable sharing with a doula you're interviewing, think twice about hiring that person. You'll want to be very comfortable around the people you choose to be part of your birth team!
When asking questions, consider these topics:
If you’re curious, ask about the doula's journey to birth work. What brought them to this field? What do they love about it? What aspects do they find most challenging? How long have they been doing this work? What variety of birth experiences have they supported? (You’ll notice we did NOT include asking how many births a doula has attended… keep reading to learn why we don’t recommend this question.)
Ask how the logistics of hiring them work. How many times will you meet during pregnancy? When does their 24/7 on-call period begin and end? How does labor support work? What does their support package include? Do they have package options? Do they offer support for planned cesarean births, and if so what does that look like? How does payment work?
We recommend reading the doula’s website first to see if they answer any questions there - that can free up time during your consultation to talk about other (more enjoyable) things!Ask about their approach to working with their clients during birth. If you have a partner who will be involved in your birth, ask how they support partners specifically.
Ask about their approach to working with care providers during birth. This is a BIG one! We recommend asking about working with care providers when things are going smoothly, as well as what it might look like if there are some bumps in the road. For instance, if your care providers are not listening to you or understanding your questions, what would the doula do? What if they hear one of your care providers give you false or misleading information? What if there is a direct conflict between what you want and what your providers are recommending? Unfortunately these things come up pretty frequently in birth situations, so having an idea of how a doula would respond and support you ahead of time is crucial.
You might also want to ask how your chosen birthing facility/care team is perceived of in the local birth community. If you’re planning to give birth at a hospital or birth center, it can be very revealing (both about the facility and the doula you’re meeting with) to hear their take on the specific pros and cons they’ve seen and/or heard of.
Ask how they help their clients navigate informed consent. Most doulas are generally familiar with the concept of informed consent, but not all doulas are well-equipped to help clients navigate these kinds of conversations regarding their medical care. If a doula’s answer to everything seems to be “ask your care provider,” then they are definitely not going to be able to help you make truly informed choices in your care during pregnancy and birth.
Ask what advocacy means to them. Does the doula view themself as an advocate? If not, why not? If so, how does advocacy show up in their work with clients? Many doulas think of themselves as advocates on a larger scale when it comes to advocating for improved perinatal health care, more options for expecting families, etc. But there are many doulas who do not feel comfortable actively advocating for their clients in the birthing space.
Ask about their approach to supporting parents through something unexpected during birth. What have they found to be the most helpful support for parents when plans change? How do they help their clients through complicated decisions that may arise in labor?
Ask what they wish all expecting parents knew before birth. This is a very revealing question that can help you learn more about a doula’s values and biases. Plus, you might learn something new you didn’t know before!
Ask how their approach to birth work has evolved since they began. This can be such an enlightening question! Since each birth and each client can teach us so much, many doulas experience shifts in perspective throughout their time doing this work.
Ask about their favorite item in their doula bag. Every doula’s bag is different, so it can be interesting to hear what physical item they use to support clients most often.
Ask about their back-up arrangements. If they were unable to attend your birth for any reason, what does working with their back-up doula look like?
A word of caution here: Many parents want to know if they can meet the person they would be working with as back-up, and that makes perfect sense. However... many doulas (ourselves included) cover their bases by having a network of several trusted back-up doulas they can rely on if they are sick, at another birth when a client goes into labor, or otherwise unable to attend a client's birth.
It just isn't practical for doulas who practice this way to arrange for their clients to meet all of their possible back-up doulas. Ironically, that's because doulas who work this way are MORE prepared to meet any back-up needs that might arise by having multiple back-up doulas instead of just one.
Instead, what we and some other doulas do is to choose back-up doulas who practice from a similar perspective. That way, clients know that they will receive very similar care and support from a back-up doula if for some reason the doula they chose isn't able to attend their birth.
Ask if they offer any additional services aside from birth doula support. Many birth doulas also offer postpartum doula care, lactation support, childbirth classes, sleep support, placenta encapsulation, and more that you might be interested in.
Ask about their involvement in the local community of birth workers. As with many professions, the doula world is quite small. In many areas there are local doula or birth worker associations, meet-ups, and continuing education opportunities. (You may have even found some doulas to interview through the website of one of these organizations.) Find out how the doula you’re talking to interacts with their local birth worker community. Do they attend local meet-ups or calls? If not, why not? How do they stay up to date about happenings in the local birth world? Do they enjoy building relationships with other birth workers and related professionals?
Ask about their education and training. What have they found helpful along the way? Do they participate often in workshops or seminars to keep their skills fresh, learn new things, or stay current on relevant research? If so, what topics interest them most? (Make sure to look at our “things to avoid” list below to learn why certification is not mentioned here.)
And of course, if you haven't already covered this information prior to the interview, make sure to ask if they are available for your due date and that they serve your chosen birth place! You should also find out whether they have any pre-arranged times they'll be out of town or unavailable during their "on-call" period (normally beginning around 38 weeks and continuing until baby arrives).
Things to avoid when choosing a doula:
Don't judge a doula by their own birth experiences or by the fact that they've never given birth (if that's the case). Every birth is different. Remember that whether someone has given birth to 12 babies or none, they haven't given birth to YOUR baby from within YOUR body.
Some people think it doesn't make sense to work with a doula who hasn't given birth before. There are two things to consider here:Does the fact that an obstetrician may have never given birth affect their ability to provide medical care?
For doulas who have given birth, there is often a lot of processing that needs to take place. Doulas need to set aside their own birth experience(s) in order to focus on understanding and supporting their clients' experiences. This can go for doulas who personally had a positive birth experience, or for those who experienced difficult or traumatic births - the whole spectrum of birth experiences can affect the way a doula approaches their work and treats their clients. If a doula has never given birth, they don't have to overcome this barrier.
Don't put any stock by whether a doula is certified. Certification is not required to be a doula! Judging a doula based on whether they are certified doesn’t make any sense. It will be much more beneficial for you to learn about a doula's continuing education. What are their areas of particular interest and passion? What are they doing in the here and now to stay connected to the skills, best practices, and research applicable to their work?
Think very carefully before moving forward with doulas who are focused on particular birth outcomes. This holds true even if those outcomes are ones that you want, even though that might seem counterintuitive at first.
For example, if you're planning a natural birth, it might seem logical to work with a doula who advertises that their clients usually get through labor without pain medication or other medical support. But you might find yourself in a really difficult situation if you change your mind in the middle of labor and want to use medical help you hadn't originally planned on. Or if you are faced with an unexpected twist during labor where additional medical help or pain relief is the next best option. If something like that happens and you don't have the kind of birth that you wanted, will you feel judged by your doula? Will you feel that you've disappointed them or "messed up their track record”? Will you feel that the continually supportive presence you wanted when you hired a doula is no longer there for you?
Another thing to consider here is that doulas who specialize in home births, birth center births, or unmedicated hospital births may be unfamiliar with ways of supporting births that don't exactly follow Plan A. If something unexpected arises during labor and plans need to shift, will that person be equipped to offer you the information you need to know about a choice you have to make? Will they be comfortable supporting you in a hospital setting if you have to transfer? Do you trust that they will be able to offer you the nuanced emotional support that can be transformational during a stressful moment in labor if they themselves are walking in foreign terrain?Be careful of doulas who make promises about birth. If anyone makes statements like, "If you do ______ then your birth will be _____," take pause. Birth is extraordinarily complex. Many people (parents and birth workers alike) cope with this complexity by oversimplifying things, because it's very difficult to face the truth that birth contains so many factors that are unknown and uncontrollable. Think carefully about adding someone to your birth team who feels that there is a right and a wrong way to birth.
Fit over experience. Experience doesn’t correlate to “good fit” - there are so many factors to take into consideration! Of course, experience can play a role in your decision-making process, but don't let it overtake your gut feelings. Even if one doula is a good fit for you on paper, it doesn't necessarily mean they're the right doula for you. No doula is the perfect fit for all parents, so try to keep an open mind throughout the search process. It’s possible that a doula who has been to countless births might not be the one for you. A newer doula you meet with might have just the vibe you were looking for. Plus - everyone has to start somewhere! If you find a newer doula who feels like a great fit and has connections to other experienced birth workers they can call on if needed, that can be a wonderful way to go for everyone involved!
Lastly, make sure to check in with your intuition!
Remember that inviting someone into one of the most intimate and intense experiences of your life is a big decision. Allow your intuition to have a say in who will be there with you when you most need support.
We hope you find this list helpful as you move forward in finding the birth support you're looking for! Let us know if there are other questions that helped you have meaningful conversations in a doula interview!
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