10 Ways Birth is like Travel
It’s been a few years since we’ve traveled (thanks COVID), and we’ve been reminiscing about some of our favorite trips recently.
It got us thinking about the many parallels between travel and birth. We thought we’d put together this list of 10 ways labor is like traveling:
1. Researching at least a little bit beforehand to get the lay of the land is usually helpful.
Whether you’re someone who likes to plan every little detail of your trips or go with the flow once you’re there, at least some level of basic research about your destination is usually helpful. You at least need to know what the currency is and where you’ll be staying, right?
When preparing for labor, you may want to read all the books and listen to all the podcasts and read all the birth stories… or you may prefer a simple map of what the road to meeting your baby may look like. Either way, we highly recommend taking a childbirth preparation class to help you get a general sense of the path ahead.
Even though the most carefully designed plans may change in birth (just as in travel), the time and energy you spent learning about your options almost always comes in handy.
2. Having a great guide can make all the difference.
The difference between a “meh” tour guide and an outstanding one is like night and day. It can take a travel experience from so-so to “WOW! This place is amazing!”
While we’re traveling we don’t always have the ability to choose who our tour guide will be. But in birth, many of us are able to choose ahead of time who will be there to show us the way. From choosing a supportive OB or midwife, to hiring a doula who feels like a great fit, selecting wonderful guides to walk the path with you is an amazing gift you can give yourself.
3. You will probably encounter people who are just doing their job without trying to create a magical experience for you
Many of us have travel stories about people who created special moments for us, but it’s way more common to encounter locals in the places you visit who are just going about their business as usual.
So it is in birth, especially in a hospital setting. There can definitely be special moments that OBs, nurses, hospital-based midwives, and other staff you may encounter helped to create for you, but it’s important to remember that most people working with you in the hospital have seen hundreds (if not thousands) of births and are just experiencing another day at work.
This can be another lovely reason to work with a doula - we are often able to create a warm, peaceful atmosphere even in the sterile hospital environment.
4. Communicating with loved ones back home can be challenging
Sometimes when traveling, communicating with your loved ones who aren’t on the trip with you can feel like a bit of a burden, especially when multiple time zones are involved. Taking time out of your day to connect with others back home can be lovely in a way, but definitely brings you out of your travel bubble.
When approaching labor, keeping members of the “outside world” informed about what’s going on can feel stressful for many reasons. Some of our clients choose to take advantage of airplane mode on their phones when it’s feeling like too much (how’s that for a travel-related connection?).
We encourage our clients to make a plan about who you’ll want to send more frequent and detailed updates to during labor, who you’ll want to share big news with personally, and who can wait until after things have settled a bit to learn your news in a more general way, be it a big group text or an email or social media announcement. Making a plan for how you might want to handle this kind of communicating ahead of time can relieve a lot of stress in the moment!
5. Time feels different
Have you ever felt time fly by while you’re enjoying yourself on a trip, or noticed the hours feeling like days (maybe on a long plane ride)? Time often plays tricks on us while we’re traveling, and the same is true in birth. Hours can feel like minutes, minutes can feel like hours in the liminal space of “laborland.”
6. High highs and low lows
Many travel experiences include both exquisite and exciting memories, as well as moments of extreme stress or difficulty from things like plans changing or falling through, jet lag, or worry about the people you left behind.
Birth is very similar! Many of our clients describe feelings on both ends of the spectrum during their births, sometimes one right after another. All feelings are normal during such a transformative event in your life!
7. It’s a great time to focus on connection
Traveling often brings people closer together. When you’re with a trusted travel companion, you’re able to work together as a team to make your trip happen. Maybe one of you is the researcher and the other is great at noticing interesting spots you might have walked right past.
Birth is an important time for you and your support team to work together, playing to your strengths to help you get the most out of this journey. Many of our clients choose to work with a birth doula so there is someone present whose goal it is to foster connection and protect their “bubble” during labor.
Two of our favorite travel pictures, 10 years apart.
(Left: Asleep on the tour bus during a UK choir trip, 2006. Right: on the flight home after a friend’s beautiful wedding, 2016.)
8. After the fact, it can be hard to tell your stories the way you really want to
Have you ever found yourself editing a travel story you want to share based on your audience? Maybe focusing on only the fun parts, or only the most historically interesting parts, or maybe even the travel horror story that happened on your trip? Sometimes it can even be hard to finish a traveling story because the person you’re sharing with interrupts to share a related story of their own. It can feel like you only really have a sentence or two to convey everything that happened, when really it would take ten minutes or more to share the whole story.
Finding people who you can share more of your birth story with - the real story - without getting constantly cut off or having them take over with a story of their own, can feel so satisfying. And as many other parents can attest, it’s rare to find people who can truly listen like that.
If your birth story has some rough edges that need healing, we highly recommend working with someone who specializes in hearing and healing birth stories, or attending a support group focused on coping with these kinds of feelings after birth.
9. Your journey will feel special, even though many others have traveled the road before you
Even if you’ve seen other people’s travel photos from a destination you want to visit, nothing compares to actually experiencing it yourself. The embodied experience of being there is so different from thinking about it or imagining it before you’ve visited.
About 385,000 babies are born around the world every day. But that doesn’t take away from the specialness of meeting your baby for the first time!
10. The memories last a lifetime
Just as travel experiences stay with us for years to come, the memories of birth are imprinted on our brains in a unique way. All the more reason to make sure you’re surrounding yourself as much as possible with people who feel like the best support for you!
There are so many ways to set yourself up for a positive birth. Making arrangements for support ahead of time can make all the difference as you prepare for the unknowns of the path ahead.
If you’re looking for a trusted guide on your path to parenthood, we’d love to work with you! Contact us to learn more about our services.
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